Phantom's Secret Diary
by Anthiena
Summary: SLASH - Danny goes on a date and later takes a phone call from his mother. Rated for language, adult situations, et cetera.
1. Getting It Off His Chest

Phantom's Secret Diary  
By: Anthiena  
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, or any associated properties, but I do own the few OCs, of which they shall be extremely minor.  
Series note: This is an _edited/abridged_ version of this chapter. Unless noted, all chapters that follow are unedited/unabridged. Though this fic is listed as "T" Rated, certain chapters-such as this one-are "M" rated. I will email the unabridged to any who ask.  
Chapter Note: This chapter contains the one and only piece of Pitch Pearl I will ever write, so here it is: Pitch Pearl, done in a post-canon-verse. And even _I_ didn't think it was possible to write. Why this chapter may seem different from others is in that Danny's writing this part for a different reason than the rest of his entries. Where the future chapters are a sort of diary, this is not. In fact, he would probably burn this. The quotes around 'official' shall be explained in the next chapter. Poor Danny, I pity you not.

_December 31, 20-- (Year 0)_

It's not exactly a secret that some people do experiment. It's not a reflection of how a person really feels, that's why it's called _experimenting_, trying to find what's right. So why am I ranting? Good question. Jazz would probably have something _Freudian_ to say about it, but if I have my way, nobody but Clockwork will ever know I wrote these words. I have to talk about this somehow, so here goes. It might help if I start off with the basic facts.

I'm Daniel Fenton, but almost everybody calls me Danny. I'm 23, I'm in college and on occasion, I'll fight some ghosts as Danny Phantom. I've been half-ghost for nine years, now. I'm one of three; Vlad Masters and Danielle (who calls herself 'Elle' now-don't ask me why) being the other ones. Elle I haven't seen in five years, now. I'm not exactly sure what she's doing, but I'll hear strange news out of California once in a while about a few crooks turning up in jail cells, stolen merchandise 'mysteriously' finding its way back to the owners, things like that. She calls from time to time, but not too often. She has her own life now.

My family is strange. They aren't exactly crazy, but a lot of people _thought_ they were-until the ghosts started showing up, that is; nobody's laughing now, _that's_ for sure. My mom and dad invent all sorts of gadgets that can do things to ghosts. What those things are depend, but most of the gadgets are weapons. My sister is the most sane of us. She's a psychiatrist, so it's _Dr_. Fenton for her, now. She used to be kind of a pain, but she grew up. She was first among my family to know what I was.

When I was a teenager, everybody found out who and what I was and who and what Vlad Masters truely was. Not many know about Elle. Vlad went missing for a while and came back. I gave him a second chance and he lives honestly, now. Some people aren't happy that he's not in jail, but let's get real here: what jail is going to hold a person who can walk through walls, let alone all the other things a hybrid can do? I'm not going to remove his ghost half, that would be stupid, not to mention insane and _really_ tempting fate, not to mention hypocritical.

So back to my first subject. I was pretty curious about myself as a teen, but that's normal. Being half-ghost made puberty even more uh... _interesting_. Yeah, that's one word for it. I was fifteen and had just been dumped by Valerie. I'd just gotten home and sneaked in by phasing through my bedroom wall. Being able to do that is really useful for dodging curfew. I usually would have just passed out, I lost a lot of sleep in those days, still do.

I remember thinking about Valerie and how she hated me as Phantom. I'm not exactly sure how that turned into taking off my gloves and boots to see if my hands and feet were the same, but there you go. I had tried not to think about that at first, probably because I wasn't totally thrilled to be half ghost then. By the time I got over myself, I kinda forgot about it. I was a _very_ busy fourteen year old. I took off the rest of the hazmat. "Huh. Well what do you know; boxers." I took a peek and decided that's all I needed to know at the time.

A year later, I was Sam's boyfriend and I was thinking about sex. A lot. Sixteen year olds are like that, girlfriend or not and I was no exception. So being a healthy, hormonal sixteen year old, I did masturbate. I wasn't about to have sex with Sam yet, I was nervous about it. In other words? I was chickening out. Typical spaz Danny, huh?

So I'd fought Ember, who used her-oh does it matter? Long story short, I was left pretty frustrated. Ember _is_ pretty good looking, even if she does try taking over the world from time to time. How _does_ she get away with that getup anyway? She looks like she's barely a teenager!

I got home and I didn't go back to human, just went to the bathroom and turned on the tub faucet, locking the door behind me. Someone knocked at the door while I got undressed, waiting for the water to warm up. "Danny?" My mom called. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah mom, just need a shower!" I called over the sound of the water.

I stepped into the shower, naked and not happy. I rested my head on the tile, tired. I looked down and I must have gone beet red with embarrassment. I had a girlfriend and a good boyfriend shouldn't be attracted to evil, sexy ghost women. Hey, I was sixteen, not _sane_; even if I am half ghost, I _am_ a typical guy. Mostly. Okay, _half_ of the time, happy now? _Moving on..._

It felt really odd to know I could be horny as a ghost. I was totally wierded out. I didn't know what to expect. Even if Vlad had been around, this kind of thing isn't something I'd ask **anyone** about. I decided to hell with it and began masturbating. It _did_ feel different from doing it when I was human; no heartbeat, no blood pressure, have a very nice day.

Now let's fast forward to why I'm writing this down: the weekend before Christmas, a week ago. I'm kind of between relationships right now and I wanted to try something so I wouldn't make an idiot of myself at the Christmas Truce Party. I kinda did anyway, but that's another story. Usually, I make a point of trying not to abuse my powers, but one power I have used for personal gain-mostly for showing up on time to classes if a ghost fight is dragging on-is duplication. That would be the power I took advantage of that day. Luckily, I have a single dorn, so I can do pretty much whatever I want and not worry about a roommate.

I didn't exactly plan it out, but I'd been curious. I'd had a few girlfriends since Sam as well as a few boyfriends. You learn a lot about yourself in college. It took me a while to accept the fact that I'm bisexual; it was confusing, certainly. Jazz hadn't been surprised when I told her. I'll be asking her about that sometime, because it sure surprised the hell out of _me_.

I locked the door and went ghost, created a duplicate and then went human. The duplicate looked a bit embarrassed and I felt my face go hot. Am I having sex with myself? Is this some kind of wierd masturbation? Did it really matter? I stopped the questioning, I could decide if this was a good idea or not in the morning. Hugging myself, or rather my duplicate, was a little awkward, but we made it work. We started kissing and it stopped being awkward. I guess being really horny just does that to you.

I stopped thinking of anything at that point. I was lucky in that my neighbors went home for the holidays. They'd heard me before, which was embarrassing the first few times, but this-this would have been a little hard to explain. I don't think I would, even if I had to. I'll admit that it was good sex, but I'm not doing _that_ again. It was too weird, even for me-besides, I have a date that I met when I was fifteen, but didn't give a real good first impression. This isn't exactly my usual type, it'll be the first ghost ever "officially" dated. His name is... well...

Screw it. I'm making this my journal. I can talk about the Christmas Truce Party tomorrow. Here's to hoping the media **NEVER** finds this. Also tomorrow: track down Jazz. Happy New Year! God, I haven't kept one of these since high school...


	2. Jazz and Christmas Recap

Phantom's Secret Diary  
By. Anthiena  
Disclaimer: Don't own. Hartman would be displeased by us yaoi fans...  
Chapter Note: I really enjoy reviews. I noticed a bunch of alerts, but only one review! Thank you, Trinity Fenton-Phantom! I was going to work on another fic of mine, but misplaced the notebook somewhere in my house.... fall cleaning, you know.  
Historical Note: The Twelfth Night celebrations were infamous back in the middle ages and were stopped by the Vatican because of the debauchery going on. It's a very old tradition, dating back to BC times and was adopted by the church to entice Pagans who loved their holidays. The date of Christmas itself was picked to coincide with a Mithriac cult celebration on the same day. Yule could be considered the original Christmas, which is celebrated on the solstice. Barnacle Bill is a real call-and-response song written in the 1700's that is very dirty.

_Jan 1, 20-- (Year 1)_

So the Christmas party. I'm supposed to write about the damn Christmas party, but first, I'm venting on Jazz. You see, she has my journals from all thorugh high school and is going to make a discertation, a book or something about my thoughts and feelings. That's _my_ life! There's already a few reporters who follow me around at certain occasions (it used to be _worst_. **Everyday. **Ugh.) The fact that I distracted Spectra once by copping a feel is nobody's business but mine and Spectra's. It worked, by the way. She was flattered for some reason after she slapped me really hard.

Yet for some reason, I gave her permission; I _think_. She and I had a talk about asking me things when I'm half-asleep. "...which reminds me. Remember when I told you I thought I liked both guys and girls? You weren't surprised. Why? How did you know?" I asked her.

Jazz looked surprised. "I suppose you _would_ block it out. I saw it and your journals recently confirmed my suspicions, but your first crush was at fourteen. I wanted to talk to you about it back then, but the Spectra thing kind of put it out of my mind for a long time. Don't you remember?"

You would think I'd remember something like that, but I couldn't. I was mildly freaked. "No, I _don't_."

"It was something you never admitted to yourself-you never said _crush_ in your journals and you went into denial pretty quick, so I'm not too surprised, but every time you saw this person, you reacted very strongly, almost jealously." She noted.

I shook my head. I was pretty laid back until shortly after I met Spectra. I aquired a temper, which I've learned how to handle since then, but I had a few memorable times where I lost my temper with the ghost I was fighting. Thankfully, nobody was ever seriously hurt. "I don't remember anything like that. Who was it, anyway?"

She hesitated. "I didn't know for sure who it was exactly until relatively recently; I never put the pieces together until I compared notes with my diaries. I still can't believe whose name popped up, but..."

"-but what, Jazz?"

"I'm not sure you're really ready to hear it, Danny. When it inevitably turned sour, you buried your bisexuality for _years_." She explained. "Even now, your homosexual partners are as far off from that crush as you can logically get. it's why those guys have never lasted-you might chase those rough types, but it's not what you really want."

I was surprised. My new guy _wasn't_ my usual type; maybe she was onto something. "Well maybe that's why I started seeing someone really different. He's an artist and really smart, but kinda nice." I was blushing, I know it.

"What's his name? What's his major? Is he cute?" She spoke in a rush. I gave her a dirty look. Why does she do this with all my boyfriends? Seriously. "What? It's for the advancement of psychology!"

I rolled my eyes. I'll believe that when my mom proclaims her love of Prada. "He doesn't go to school, he's older than me. He's pretty attractive, very New York bohemian. His name is Ghost Writer."

She looked blank a moment. "You're dating a ghost?"

"Uh, yeah." That shut her up. "So who did I like when I was fourteen?"

"Well he wasn't an artist..." She began and stopped.

A cold feeling seized me and I went ghost. It was Technus; with all the portable gear you see at a college, it took a while to track him down. By then it was pretty late and I had to get back to my dorm accross state. Technically, he's breaking truce, but so was I, so I'm not bothering Walker with it. I found out during my third year of being a hybrid that the "Christmas" Truce actually begins on the winter solstice-the biggest party is on the 25th, but the truce lasts until twelve nights after Christmas. Most ghosts are too busy preparing for the Twelfth Night party to bother with the human world. Technus isn't going to that party, apparently.

Walker didn't let me into _that_ party until I was eighteen. The main differences between that party and a frat party is that you can count on a fight not breaking out and everybody getting lucky. Turns out a lot of ghost children are conceived that day. Also turns out that any ghost who shows up alone has to 'honor' any who ask. No wonder most of the party-goers brought dates. I haven't gone to one since.

The only ghost who was willing-and had the time- to explain those things to me was one I hadn't met before and have seen at the parties since... the truce parties, that is. She is Psyche, Mistress of Emotions; she is able to sense and affect emotions and create all sorts of permanent things out of ectoplasm. She's actually friendly, but not overboard with it like Frostbite is. She's pretty quiet and hides out most of the year, which I don't blame her for. She's got a lot of enemies and bad feeling towards her.

The Christmas Truce Party was fairly typical half the night. Skulker had a drinking contest with Vlad, who sang some really dirty songs that cracked me up. That man can actually sing alright. Skulker, as usual, defied science and drank Vlad under the table. I _know_ how tiny Skulker really is, that should not be possible. Vlad still does it every year and the outcome is predictable: either he's dancing on the tables or really depressed, muttering into his drink looking kinda paranoid. I prefer the dancing.

If I ever wanted to see a friendly drunk, I'd only have to look into a mirror. I wasn't completely tossed like Vlad was, but I was still well-lit and tipsy. Ember was trying to flirt with me, but I was paying attention to Vlad make an idiot of himself with Skulker, singing an old sailor's song with Psyche and Spectra doing the women's part called Barnacle Bill. I knew Psyche had to be completely trashed because usually, Psyche hates Spectra as much as Vlad hated my dad-when sober-yet there they were, Spectra's arm around Psyche, who giggled as Vlad and Skulker bellowed out the response.

Ember moved on with a shrug. Guess she gave up. "Not your cup of tea, is she?" Someone spoke in a cultured voice. I knew it wasn't Vlad, he was grinning at the bar while Psyche and Spectra did the women's part and his voice was different. It did sound familiar, though.

"Not really." I shook my head.

"Heard you made quite the impression at Twelfth Night a few years back." The guy sounded amused.

I gave the ghost a tired look. "Fuck _you_, man. I'd rather spend the rest of Christmas in Walker's jail than get teased about _that_ again."

Bullet grinned at me. "I dare you, Danny Phantom." He sneered.

"We'll see if you could even arrest me if I _did_ do anything." I retorted.

"Ah, I seem to recall you being flippant the first time we met as well." The ghost next to me quipped.

I took a closer look at him. Trench coat, scarf, glasses over glowing green eyes, a vest, teeth that would make a shark proud and extremely messy black hair. I remembered who he was mostly because there are only two ghosts I have ever seen that wear glasses: Sydney Poindexter and that guy. "Ghost Writer?"

He grinned, clapping as he bowed. "Bravo. Nothing for me to write in, fear not. You learned the lesson are there no hard feelings?"

"Nuh-uh, not really. Could've gone differently, but I kinda needed a swift kick in the ass about that at fifteen, anyway. It turned out alright, so." I shrugged.

I made small talk and I drank away the night, fairly drunk by the time the party wound down. Skulker had already brought Vlad back home, where I'm sure he'll be feeling very sorry for himself in the morning. Psyche and Spectra were off in a dark corner, Spectra not seeming very drunk at all. "...all my boyfriends have been meatheads, but you're pretty nice." I barely remember this part, so I'm pretty sure that I was slurring. "How 'bout going out together sometime?"

For some reason, he smiled at me. "That would be fine, Danny. Didn't know you swung that way-for us ghosts, that is."

"I haven't actually dated a ghost before; Twelfth Night doesn't count!"

Ghost Writer chuckled. "Don't worry, I don't think any _sane_ ghost has ever _dated_ a human before either." Nevermind the one night stands and attacks.

"There are sane ghosts?" I raised an eyebrow as Ghost Writer snickered, which makes me feel better, even if I still think I made a drunken idiot of myself. Worst pick up lines, ever. I can't believe I asked him out. I can't believe he said yes! I'm such a spaz...

I'm nervous. It feels like the first time I went on a date with a guy. Oh man, I am not drinking on my date tomorrow. I might as well get some sleep. Good night...


	3. Danny's Date Maddie's Phone Call

**Phantom's Secret Diary**  
By: Anthiena  
Disclaimer: Butch Hartman says it was all his idea, so blame him. On the other hand, I think he'd say at least three words you can't say on TV if he saw this fic.

Notes: I can't see Danny not getting a car-unless it becomes him getting a motorcycle. The cat caller is a phan by the alias Neo Yi, who is very nice and impossible not to run into on DeviantArt. If you like this fic and can handle AU, I highly recommend her fan comic Chess Piece, which you can see at: chesspiece dot smackjeeves dot com. The beer GW drinks is a real one-it's called Fat Tire, which is a microbrew under the Mothership Wit label. It's originally from the East, though it's been introduced this last year to the midwest. The statistic on the space agencies is real and truly dangerous. We would not know a world-killing meteor was on its way until far too late.

Cannon Note: I just re-watched "Fright Before Christmas" and I noticed something: GW introduces himself as "_The_ Ghost Writer", not "Ghost Writer". Danny also refers to him as such.

_Chapter 3: January 3, 20xx (Year 1)_

I just realized that Jazz never actually told me who I had a crush on when I was fourteen. Oh well. I can get it out of her another time. My date with Ghost Writer went... pretty well, actually. I was half-expecting... oh, I don't know, say Skulker to show up wanting my pelt or something gross like that. Seriously, does that guy ever quit? Oddly, he seems to be coming around a lot less lately. Wonder who the girlfriend is _this_ time.

I'll admit, there isn't much to talk about on my date, but what the hell. I dressed casually but nicely, my hair slicked back. I got to the agreed on place ten minutes late because I went in my car and traffic was bad. I love flying but I like driving, too. I have an old '86 Corvette that was a complete junker when I got it but I had it fixed up.

I'd picked a sleepy little pub diner that did brisk business, but wasn't exactly one of the hottest places in town for the date. It has good food, a nice atmosphere and quick, discreet service. I found Writer at the bar waiting for me. "Um... hey there." I'm still embarrassed about the way I asked him out, but he _did_ say yes.

"Hello yourself." He smiled at me, amused.

"Would you like to sit here or at a table?" I asked.

"It's up to you, it's all the same to me." He shrugged, still smiling; was he teasing me?

"Table then." I decided; more private that way. "Do you like to eat?"

"On occasion." He kept grinning like there was something he knew that I didn't. Most times, it's aggravating, but on _him_... it's hard to explain it. Although something about the expression tickled my memory, I decided that it suited him.

We chattered, catching up. He'd been, of course, writing since we'd last seen each other and doing a 'little' art, which actually sounded like a lot. When the waitress came around, Writer ordered a beer, reuben sandwich and tomato bisque. I ordered a soda, a burger (the works, hold the mayo), fries and a salad. The waitress was pretty and attentive, quickly bringing a coke and a bottle with a picture of a bike on the label, which read _Follow Your Folly_. My date sampled the bottle, nodding in approval.

The food was more than passable, as usual. I told him about my college life and how I'd recently discovered a star, which sounds way more impressive than it really is. NASA and other space agencies only have enough budget to watch 5% of the skies. Ridiculous, I know.

"But that will always be _your_ star." He pointed out.

"Well _yeah_, it's just not all that uncommon." I shrugged with a smile. "But thanks all the same."

"Nothing I deserve thanks for, Danny. What are you studying after five years? You'd already have your Associate's and Bachelor's degrees if I remember correctly." He tilted his head.

"That's true; next year I'll have my Master's, too. I study Astrophysics and I just finished up Engineering last year and moved onto Metallurgy this year. I'm aiming for my Doctorate. I've only been able to get this far because my family helps out with my other career, of course. It's kinda funny, I used to _hate_ math and now it's what I'm going to do for a career." I chuckled because it is a little funny.

"So what do you plan to do with all that education?" He leaned back in his chair.

It was an old dream of mine I'd been chasing for most of my life. "I'm going to work for NASA and be an astronaut." I said.

"Couldn't you explore other planets in ghost form?" He said.

"I've already been to Earth's outer stratosphere, but it's extremely risky-If I lost consciousness out there and went human, I'd be seriously screwed in seconds. If the radiation didn't fry me first, the vacuum would cause my body fluids to boil and then no oxygen beyond that? I don't want to think about how the hell Vlad survived as long as he did." I shuddered.

"What ever do you do for fun?" He leaned forward, propping his chin in his gloved hands, elbows on the table.

"Work _is_ play, but I know what you mean." I said, grinning. "I'm usually with friends when I'm not studying, doing a project or on patrol. Either that or with my family. With friends, I play video games or just hang out or whatever. School and patrols take up most of my time." Which might be why I've been dateless a few times, but I'm not about to admit _that_.

"Sounds far more ordinary than it is. You do what it is your passion to do for work. That is the very rare and incredibly hard. I almost threw away my brushes and pen many times trying to live off my work, but I never gave up." He said.

"Sometimes I forget I'm working for something _bigger_, you know?"

"I often felt that, even after I died. For a long while, I wandered the Zone, not knowing what to do with myself." He told me and I nodded, my heart warming. "That's when I met the ghost who snapped me out of it. She's a wonderful person, but we did not part well."

"Who?" I asked, feeling a twinge of jealousy.

"Psyche; my, your possessive reflex is quick!" He chuckled. "I wasn't in love-love with her if you must know."

I lightened up, embarrassed. "I'm such a spazz..."

He reached out and touched my face, an expression of desire on his face. "That, Danny, is _precisely_ why I'm so interested in you."

Feelings uncoiled in my belly as he traced the lines of my face with cold fingers. I haven't been so honestly turned on since Valerie. He was smirking as he drew his hand away, my pants feeling oddly tight. Oh my _god_, what he _does_ to me-! "R-really?" I swallowed.

Delight and some other, familiar expression showed on his face. "Truly." He laughed. "Do you suppose we could take a nice little stroll when we're done here?"

"Yes, of course." I signaled the waitress and paid my tab, leaving a reasonable tip.

Our walk was even more of a conversational black hole of silly-profound little nothings, walking closer and closer together until we were hand in hand. He would lean in as he spoke, as if to kiss me, but lean away at the last moment, amused at my beet red face and fumblings for coherent speech. Finally, I took hold of him in a tight embrace and kissed _him_.

It was almost electricity as he deepened the kiss. After a wolf whislte from an Asian chick in a cowboy hat and trench coat, we began walking back to my car, arms around each others waists. Once there, we kissed almost chastely. "Met me at ten on the fifth at my mansion. You remember where that is?" He asked.

"Yes." I answered back; how could I forget?

"How I wish we weren't in public..." He smiled at me, winking. "I'll see _you _then."

I got to my dorm happy as I've been in a long time. It feels like I've been waiting for him the longest time and yet, it's something completely fresh. I feel like I'm seventeen again in the back of my car with Sam, awkward and excited. Yeah, sounds like a bad pop song, I know, but you know what?

I don't mind a single bit.

Tonight, I talked to my mom on the the phone, who was happy to get my call. "Your father is down in the lab but I'm on self-exile for a week." She said.

"Fighting again?" I surmised. They have a big fight once a year. Mom leaves dad for a few days, comes back, end of story-usually.

"Yes... I need a break sometimes, you know, especially with the house empty. I wish you kids had come down for more than a few hours before Christmas." She told me. I'd visited the Monday after the... you know.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise." I spoke guiltily. "I get caught up with my work and-"

"It's alright Danny. It was actually a bit like the old days with Vlad over here. He didn't argue with Jack, not even once. It was... really nice."

And nice to hear. Even though he'd changed in the time he'd spent in space and the years since, coming back feeling guilty, my mom and dad didn't have anything to do with him really until last year. Sam and Jazz were attacked by some human gag and Vlad got them away safe and relatively unhurt. Sam being Sam held an awareness rally and raised a lot of money, being a well-known social worker. It had taken this long even after _that_ for Vlad to start having any kind of relationship with my parents.

"You guys have really come a long way. I'm glad, he seemed happy when I saw him." Well, what I _remembered_ from seeing him at the party, anyway.

"Maybe age is finally catching up with us, we _are_ in our fifties now." She told me.

"Yeah, but you guys have a long time left to live, so don't you count yourselves out yet." I said to her laughingly.

"'Course, Danny. How are _you_ doing?" She asked me.

"Great; I have a new boyfriend. He's... different." Wow, _that_ was putting it mildly.

"I'm glad, your taste in men has been really terrible so far. None of them seemed _right_ for you." This wasn't anything I hadn't heard before.

"Gee, thanks, mom. I told her dryly. "He knows who I am, he doesn't particularly seem to care about my fame. He's really into the arts, intelligent, kind of a tease and I really, really like him."

"Is he cute?" She asked innocently.

"Mo-om..." I groaned. What is it with Fenton women?

"So he is." I swear, I could hear her smirk. "So how did your date go?"

"It went very good." I told her _most_ of the details, I admit. "Well it's a bit late over here and I have homework to do, so I'm gonna let you go."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, Danny."

"Love you, bye." I hung up.

I can't believe I got away with not telling my mom the Ghost Writer's name or status. It's only delaying the inevitable, I know, but... I guess I want to see if this one lasts. Clockwork knows none of my boyfriends have so far.

I'm hoping this one does.


End file.
